Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Endings are only New Beginnings

In the summer of '93, a couple of months before my son turned 4 (and I was to be 28), I bought my current home in downtown Decatur. It was a dream to be in a neighborhood that was not only safe but also a real community with friendly neighbors and a great shops and restaurants within walking distance. ...much different than the inner city war zone I had lived in for 7 years prior. I figured that within a few months, 6 tops, I'd have the house organized and fixed up just like I wanted it.

It's early 2009. My son is in his 2nd semester as a freshman at UGA and will be 20 in September. My home is nearly "there". I'll be 44 in September. This summer marks 16 years since I moved into my 1954 brick ranch. Lots of changes have taken place from renovations, additions, and decor, to my own personal changes with boyfriends, housemates, careers, and inner growth.

As I work towards putting the finishing touches on my own personal home yoga studio, 800 square feet of clean, fresh, open space, I can't help but be on the verge of tears (of joy) everytime I walk downstairs and see the evolution which has taken place. After nearly 6 years of my basement being an extra-large doghouse, filled with all the lovely (and yes, I am being sarcastic) aromas of big hairy mutts, what began as a "easy" job of removing some carpet and painting the floor turned into a huge project. Two layers of ooky, stained, yucky carpet, a layer of deteriorated padding and the surprise layer of old asbestos tile attached with thick black mastic glue later, and now I have an ecologically sound acid stained marble-like floor. Some small area rugs, artwork on the walls, a small library of yoga and health books, yoga props and mats, and a sound system, and I have my own little nirvana.

While decorating, I came across a dream board I had put together several years ago, and I decided to display it. I think it was about 3, maybe 4 years ago when I sat around with friends, magazines, glue and scissors, and made my collage. I got so into it, that I did both sides of the poster and then began some smaller ones. A common them was yoga, health, and nutrition, along with positive affirmations as to my own personal strength and abilities.

And here I am..mid February 2009. Things seem to always take longer than I had envisioned, but the visions are coming through. I've been teaching yoga now for over 3 years and this Sunday I will be graduating from my yoga teacher training with a 200 hour certification. I am about 2/3rds of the way through my holistic nutritional consultant program and should be finished within about a year. I am healthy and strong. And I'm even somewhat sane.

Oh yeah...I'm humble too. While the basement is finished, my yoga training is nearly over, and I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel regarding my nutrition studies, I realize that all these endings just make way for the beginnings that are yet to come. Once I achieve my 200 hour certification, I will more than likely begin taking workshops in pursuance of my 500 hour yoga training. And once I finish school, I'll have to focus on my direction as a health counselor and direct my energy in a way that can best serve my clients. And of course, once the basement appears "finished", I'm sure some other changes will be in store as I begin to use the space in a productive way for the first time in many years.

Before I know it, Alex will finish college, marking the beginning of a new world for, career, graduate school...who knows. And I may end up selling my home afterall, though with my basement finished and all the new beginnings ahead who knows.

My mantra for today:
Inhale possibilities; exhale fear.

Life is good.

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