Endings are only New Beginnings

In the summer of '93, a couple of months before my son turned 4 (and I was to be 28), I bought my current home in downtown Decatur. It was a dream to be in a neighborhood that was not only safe but also a real community with friendly neighbors and a great shops and restaurants within walking distance. ...much different than the inner city war zone I had lived in for 7 years prior. I figured that within a few months, 6 tops, I'd have the house organized and fixed up just like I wanted it.

It's early 2009. My son is in his 2nd semester as a freshman at UGA and will be 20 in September. My home is nearly "there". I'll be 44 in September. This summer marks 16 years since I moved into my 1954 brick ranch. Lots of changes have taken place from renovations, additions, and decor, to my own personal changes with boyfriends, housemates, careers, and inner growth.

As I work towards putting the finishing touches on my own personal home yoga studio, 800 square feet of clean, fresh, open space, I can't help but be on the verge of tears (of joy) everytime I walk downstairs and see the evolution which has taken place. After nearly 6 years of my basement being an extra-large doghouse, filled with all the lovely (and yes, I am being sarcastic) aromas of big hairy mutts, what began as a "easy" job of removing some carpet and painting the floor turned into a huge project. Two layers of ooky, stained, yucky carpet, a layer of deteriorated padding and the surprise layer of old asbestos tile attached with thick black mastic glue later, and now I have an ecologically sound acid stained marble-like floor. Some small area rugs, artwork on the walls, a small library of yoga and health books, yoga props and mats, and a sound system, and I have my own little nirvana.

While decorating, I came across a dream board I had put together several years ago, and I decided to display it. I think it was about 3, maybe 4 years ago when I sat around with friends, magazines, glue and scissors, and made my collage. I got so into it, that I did both sides of the poster and then began some smaller ones. A common them was yoga, health, and nutrition, along with positive affirmations as to my own personal strength and abilities.

And here I am..mid February 2009. Things seem to always take longer than I had envisioned, but the visions are coming through. I've been teaching yoga now for over 3 years and this Sunday I will be graduating from my yoga teacher training with a 200 hour certification. I am about 2/3rds of the way through my holistic nutritional consultant program and should be finished within about a year. I am healthy and strong. And I'm even somewhat sane.

Oh yeah...I'm humble too. While the basement is finished, my yoga training is nearly over, and I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel regarding my nutrition studies, I realize that all these endings just make way for the beginnings that are yet to come. Once I achieve my 200 hour certification, I will more than likely begin taking workshops in pursuance of my 500 hour yoga training. And once I finish school, I'll have to focus on my direction as a health counselor and direct my energy in a way that can best serve my clients. And of course, once the basement appears "finished", I'm sure some other changes will be in store as I begin to use the space in a productive way for the first time in many years.

Before I know it, Alex will finish college, marking the beginning of a new world for him...work, career, graduate school...who knows. And I may end up selling my home afterall, though with my basement finished and all the new beginnings ahead who knows.

My mantra for today:
Inhale possibilities; exhale fear.

Life is good.

Open to the Possibilities

That's Hadley. She's one of my great-nieces...my other great-niece, Sari, will be 2 yrs old next month; Hadley's nearly 16 months old. You know you're young when you can still be "months" old. I think I'm about a bazillion months old..that must mean I'm still young too.

The picture was taken in Blairsville on Thanksgiving '08...click here to see the rest. Hadley's dad is my nephew, Brian, and I think she just may be his clone.

Hadley and Sari have breathed a new life energy into my family. Their little new bodies and minds are so open and clear, and it seems that as a family unit, my family has grown and matured. I dare say that we actually ENJOY family functions a bit more. At least I do.

Ten years ago I would have not believed that one day I would look forward to the next wedding or Bar Mitzvah or holiday. Instead of dread, I find myself usually excited and happy for a chance to see everyone...especially the babies.

I saw Wayne Dyer yesterday and he was talking about how everything we do comes down to two things..we are either acting on fear or love. Today I am staying open to the possibilities...that I can choose love and not fear. That I can release ego and act mindfully and in line with the universe.

If I can grow to a point where I actually enjoy my family (most of the time...I'm not talking about miracles!), then anything is possible.

Today I am definitely open to the possibilities.

HOPE: OK..this is REALLY the last post of 2008

The last day of the year...for many, a time of reflection, new beginnings, endings, resolutions. I began the day like I often do on Wednesdays...a brisk walk for a little while, a 6am hot vinyasa yoga class, then a walk home for breakfast, some work, writing, errands. Nothing too special really, though as a member of an online jewelry group, I did partake in some discussions, sometimes heated and controversial, sometimes fun and upbeat. The list owner suggested, in an effort to get the subject away from controversial topics that were often political hot button issues, to post on hope.

This is a time in our society where many of us are not just in transitions, but also struggling with many issues. So, I do feel that having hope is imperative.

Hope...

Hope can be a noun or a verb, and while I posted about things "I hope..." using it in the verb sense, really, in retrospect, I much prefer it as a noun. To me, hoping for something doesn't imply action, appearing more passive, while affirming hope seems less goal oriented. Perhaps it's just semantics, but I truly do believe that life is about the journey and not the destination, and hoping "for" something seems a bit preoccupied with the final outcome rather than the process.

That said...here is what I shared earlier. ... I am just going to make a list...this is not in an order of priority, by the way....to me it is not so much about hope as it is making positive affirmations about the present. It would take a book and a year for me to really write completely on this subject, so this is in no way a comprehensive list. I know after I finish, I'll probably think of things I forgot to say!

Hope for the world around us:

~I hope for less suffering throughout the world.  Ideally, wars,
world hunger, homelessness, cruelty to people and animals, and
disease would all end.  Of course I know that realistically, this
probably won't happen, so I hope that we can make some progress
towards this end and make progress towards these things.  I hope
people can get, at the very least, their emotional, mental, and
physical needs met.

~I hope for ways to clean up the environment that we can all agree
upon and that are effective.  This includes solutions for the
climate changes, the use of less chemicals on our food and water
supplies, and less dependency of oil.

~I hope we can grow as a human race and act rather than REact.  The
"Golden Rule" rules!

~I hope the economy will turn around as it has historically done in
all past recessions and depressions.

~I hope for unity in the US.  I hope for unity in the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personal hopes:

~I hope that I can remember the following before I speak (or type)
and apply it to all situations.
THE FOUR GATES of SPEECH:
*Is it truthful?
*Is it necessary to say?
*Is it the appropriate time?
*Can it be said in a kind way?

~I hope I can treat myself with love and respect, without negative
self talk or self sabotaging behaviors.  I know that before I do
this more consistently, I cannot be there for myself...which I must
be in order to be of maximum service to others.

~I hope to maintain the good health I have and to resolve and/or
improve the few health issues I am dealing with.

~I hope to continue to grow as a yoga teacher.

~I hope my son continues to be happy and to do well in college.
(Straight As his first semester!  woo hoo!)

~I hope my son and I can become a bit closer as he enters adulthood
and I shift into mid life.

~I hope to continue to learn more with my nutrition studies and to
make steady progress, receiving my certification in a timely
manner.

~I hope to continue to have faith in the universe and have the
knowledge that it will continue to provide me with everything I
need (even if it is not everything I WANT).  I also want to be
happy with whatever that may be.

~I hope my mother stays healthy and her physical problems improve
(after she fell last summer).

~I hope my family and friends remain happy and healthy and that
those who are not can improve on both fronts.


OK: gosh, there is so much more.  Again, these are more like
affirmations to me...ie...I AM LEARNING, I AM HAPPY, THE WORLD IS
IMPROVING, etc.  So, for now, that is all.

have a great day all...2009 is going to totally rule, I just know it!

Lisa
(BTW...the photo posted is of my son Alex around 2003, when he was about 13 or 14 yrs old.
I can't believe how much he has grown since then!)