Endings are only New Beginnings

In the summer of '93, a couple of months before my son turned 4 (and I was to be 28), I bought my current home in downtown Decatur. It was a dream to be in a neighborhood that was not only safe but also a real community with friendly neighbors and a great shops and restaurants within walking distance. ...much different than the inner city war zone I had lived in for 7 years prior. I figured that within a few months, 6 tops, I'd have the house organized and fixed up just like I wanted it.

It's early 2009. My son is in his 2nd semester as a freshman at UGA and will be 20 in September. My home is nearly "there". I'll be 44 in September. This summer marks 16 years since I moved into my 1954 brick ranch. Lots of changes have taken place from renovations, additions, and decor, to my own personal changes with boyfriends, housemates, careers, and inner growth.

As I work towards putting the finishing touches on my own personal home yoga studio, 800 square feet of clean, fresh, open space, I can't help but be on the verge of tears (of joy) everytime I walk downstairs and see the evolution which has taken place. After nearly 6 years of my basement being an extra-large doghouse, filled with all the lovely (and yes, I am being sarcastic) aromas of big hairy mutts, what began as a "easy" job of removing some carpet and painting the floor turned into a huge project. Two layers of ooky, stained, yucky carpet, a layer of deteriorated padding and the surprise layer of old asbestos tile attached with thick black mastic glue later, and now I have an ecologically sound acid stained marble-like floor. Some small area rugs, artwork on the walls, a small library of yoga and health books, yoga props and mats, and a sound system, and I have my own little nirvana.

While decorating, I came across a dream board I had put together several years ago, and I decided to display it. I think it was about 3, maybe 4 years ago when I sat around with friends, magazines, glue and scissors, and made my collage. I got so into it, that I did both sides of the poster and then began some smaller ones. A common them was yoga, health, and nutrition, along with positive affirmations as to my own personal strength and abilities.

And here I am..mid February 2009. Things seem to always take longer than I had envisioned, but the visions are coming through. I've been teaching yoga now for over 3 years and this Sunday I will be graduating from my yoga teacher training with a 200 hour certification. I am about 2/3rds of the way through my holistic nutritional consultant program and should be finished within about a year. I am healthy and strong. And I'm even somewhat sane.

Oh yeah...I'm humble too. While the basement is finished, my yoga training is nearly over, and I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel regarding my nutrition studies, I realize that all these endings just make way for the beginnings that are yet to come. Once I achieve my 200 hour certification, I will more than likely begin taking workshops in pursuance of my 500 hour yoga training. And once I finish school, I'll have to focus on my direction as a health counselor and direct my energy in a way that can best serve my clients. And of course, once the basement appears "finished", I'm sure some other changes will be in store as I begin to use the space in a productive way for the first time in many years.

Before I know it, Alex will finish college, marking the beginning of a new world for him...work, career, graduate school...who knows. And I may end up selling my home afterall, though with my basement finished and all the new beginnings ahead who knows.

My mantra for today:
Inhale possibilities; exhale fear.

Life is good.

Open to the Possibilities

That's Hadley. She's one of my great-nieces...my other great-niece, Sari, will be 2 yrs old next month; Hadley's nearly 16 months old. You know you're young when you can still be "months" old. I think I'm about a bazillion months old..that must mean I'm still young too.

The picture was taken in Blairsville on Thanksgiving '08...click here to see the rest. Hadley's dad is my nephew, Brian, and I think she just may be his clone.

Hadley and Sari have breathed a new life energy into my family. Their little new bodies and minds are so open and clear, and it seems that as a family unit, my family has grown and matured. I dare say that we actually ENJOY family functions a bit more. At least I do.

Ten years ago I would have not believed that one day I would look forward to the next wedding or Bar Mitzvah or holiday. Instead of dread, I find myself usually excited and happy for a chance to see everyone...especially the babies.

I saw Wayne Dyer yesterday and he was talking about how everything we do comes down to two things..we are either acting on fear or love. Today I am staying open to the possibilities...that I can choose love and not fear. That I can release ego and act mindfully and in line with the universe.

If I can grow to a point where I actually enjoy my family (most of the time...I'm not talking about miracles!), then anything is possible.

Today I am definitely open to the possibilities.

Passions...and some of my history

It's a cold and overcast morning in the usually Sunny South, and instead of braving the elements, I decided to stay in and work. But on what? And it got me to thinking about passions. Not of the romantic type, mind you, but of the passions that drive me. As I settle into my mid 40s, 43 to be more exact, okay, middle age if you must, I find myself more reflective on life and on devoting my time to what really lights my fire.

As a teenager, I just wanted to grow up, so I flew through high school as quick as I could so I could graduate early and play house with my boyfriend. I thought I knew everything, as most 16 and 17 year olds do. In fast forward, I began college, worked various jobs, and by about age 20, I had discovered my passion for buying and selling antiques and collectibles. Long story short, I was waiting tables and my best friend Walter, began showing up at the restaurant wearing these amazing rhinestone brooches from the 1940s and 50s that he bought from a little flea market around the corner. I had already been going to yard sales, mostly out of necessity as I couldn't afford to furnish my home with new items, but when Walter turned me on to these glitzy works of art, a passion was sparked. I had to have them. At first I wanted them all. I wanted to go to every yard sale, estate liquidation, flea market, and antique shop and uncover every treasure there was. I wanted more...more ....MORE. The restaurant was sold to a new owner who fired most of the old staff, so I was suddenly without a job. This was the best thing that ever happened to me.

A sudden firing, my father's death, dropping out of college, and meeting an antique shop owner who hired me on the spot...my path for the next 23 years was set in motion. Within about a year, I had rented an old mill house that was part of a small antique village of old mill houses, and The Family Jewels was born. My jewelry interests expanded from rhinestones to Victoriana, Edwardian, art deco, art nouveau, bakelite, sterling silver and more. And I found that with jewelry came other collectibles: mesh and beaded purses, old powder jars, celluloid dresser sets, crystal decanters, hatpins, old ivory fans, flapper dresses...the list goes on. I found turn-of-the-century tiger oak sideboards, birds-eye maple vanity sets, kitchen collectibles, American art pottery, occupied Japan figurines, old postcards, advertising memorabilia, antique paintings, copper bedwarmers, and so much more. My little shop filled up and I quickly began making a name for myself. I met a man at an antique show, we fell in love, and spent days, even weeks, traveling around the the countryside. We hit every state from Florida to Pennsylvania...yard sales, antique shops and malls, flea markets and shows...no stone unturned. While we found great treasures at every turn, we actually created our greatest treasure...a bouncing baby boy. In September of 1989, Alex was born. I was 24.

In a few years, I moved my store to the trendy Decatur Square and my business shifted from a little more than a hobby to a full fledged business. I was a single mother by then, and my son and I went to work. He cooed and gooed in his little playpen while I bought and sold antiques, vintage jewelry, and collectibles. I became more than just a business in Decatur, I was part of the community, and Decatur became my home...a place to work, live, and raise my son. I loved my shop and made friends and longtime customers who remain in my life to this day, though eventually the internet was born. After several years of resisting the new technology, I finally succumbed and began dabbling with eBay and online auctions. Suddenly my client base expanded from the metro Atlanta area to all around the globe. I began shipping items to China, Australia, Europe, South America, not to mention all over the U.S. The world began to get smaller. in May 2000, I moved my business online and closed my bricks and mortar store in what was considered at the time to be the big "Bricks to Clicks" movement...I had gone cyber.

Click here to see the CNN article on my business and the Bricks to Clicks trend of 2000

Actually, I was in my mid 30s and my passions were shifting. I no longer had as much desire to be bound to a shop all day long, instead opting to run in 10Ks and half marathons, as well as being at home more as my son entered his preteen years. Besides my passion for buying and selling antiques, I was also increasingly interested in alternative and holistic health, nutrition, and fitness. In my late 30s, my path led me to yoga, and I was completely surprised as my passion grew to a point where I not only became a dedicated practitioner for nearly 5 1/2 years, but I am also a yoga teacher now as well.

I still love antiques, especially jewelry, as is probably quite evident in my Family Jewels online store, though today, I am much more likely to be teaching or taking a yoga class at 6am on any given morning before you would find me in line waiting for an estate sale to begin. For the past 2 years I have been in school pursuing a degree as a holistic nutritional consultant, as well getting certified to teach various styles of yoga. This summer I began my yoga training to receive my 200 hour yoga teacher training. And yes, I still drop in a yard sale or flea market on occasion.

Within the next year, I see myself finishing school and hopefully beginning my nutrition practice, weaving it with my path of yoga, both as a teacher and a student. Working with people who want to improve their well-being on physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels is my passion and has been for quite some time. Becoming a more mindful yogini and growing as an individual has been a challenging and rewarding path, and finding out how little I know and having a beginner's mind is a humbling experience.

Through all of this, one passion has remained, and while at one time I thought I may phase out my Family Jewels antique business completely, I am realizing now that I will more than likely always dabble in my business to maintain that connection with other collectors and buyers from around the globe. Times change...the world climate, politics, economics, environment, technology...but for me, I am staying on my path and remaining open to evolve and grow, embracing my passions and seeking balance in them all.