25th HIGH SCHOOL REUNION RAMBLINGS

OK, I know I said the last post was probably the last one of the year, so call me a liar...here I am posting again. I just wanted to share a bit about last night, my 25th high school reunion. For me, it really could have been more of an elementary school reunion, as probably at least half of the people have been in my life since 1st or 2nd grade. So, from about 5 or 6 yrs of age, circa 1970ish, to now, all of us approaching our mid 40s, so many years and experiences later, we all met to have what was actually a surreal experience for me, and for others, I would bet.

The room was surrounded with wide screen TVs showing a non-stop slide show of photos from our high school years and the past 10, 15, and 20 year reunions. I am so appreciative of the efforts of my classmates who compiled the images and it was so nostalgic to see all the different clothing styles, hair sizes (big=80s, smaller=90s to 2000s), and the growing families. A few friends have passed away over the years, always tragic and definitely at ages far too early to have ever imagined it would have happened when and how it did, though seeing them in the images from the past years made for bittersweet memories for me and I would speculate, many others. As we mingled and at times, just stood and watched the crowd, identifying our old friends and when it was hard to figure out who it was, honing in on the everpresent name tags. What was very cool for me was the feeling of true acceptance and non judgement in the air. Perhaps it was merely my perception...or even misperception...but I truly felt the joy and love in the air. Ok, now I am sounding kinda hippie-ish, but it is how I felt so I am sticking with it. (where's my granola and a tree to hug?)

I have to admit, I almost didn't attend the soirée. On a personal level, I have not been feeling quite myself lately..be it hormonal, seasonal, emotional, or simply the fact that I generally abstain from eating sugar laden products but have found myself with the need to taste every homemade cookie that I can find this season...I have been a little physically and emotionally out of sorts. Oh, I have my really good moments...while taking or teaching a yoga class or taking a walk on a pretty day through Decatur or reconnecting with an old friend...but I have also found myself opting for more isolating here in my batcave more often.

So, yesterday, a small group of the reunion-ees planned on meeting for lunch and invited me...so I went, thinking I would meet them and blow off the evening shin dig. And then, to be honest, something came over me. A feeling of wanting to be part of what was the only chance I would ever have to attend and be part of my own 25th high school reunion. By the way, to be completely honest, technically it has been nearly 27 years since I graduated high school...when I was 15, I left Briarcliff High to attend Open Campus West high, an alternative school for kids who didn't necessarily fit into the "normal" high school scene...and I ended up barreling through my classes and finishing early. While I was certainly proud of that fact and still am to a degree, sometime a few years ago, I realized that by stating my "true" graduation year as '82, it made me a year older...kinda..and since the class of '83 were where most of my friends were, that's "my" peeps..

After meeting with my friends, getting to know their kids, laughing over old times and silly expressions (scrubba dubba!), I came home, took a long disco nap, then had a light bite before heading off to the partAy. Though normally, by 7:30 every night, I am winding down for the evening...I know, I am such a nerd!...I threw on a dress, some makeup, glitzy jewels, and even some high heels (bare feet and walking shoes are my more usual M.O.)..., and I was off to the event. The desire to be part of a somewhat "history-making" (or at least history remembering) even was too strong to ignore, and thanks to a disco nap, I was rested and energized.

Without sounding too corny or getting all ver klempt over the overwhelming feelings that rushed through me at the site of all these people from my past, I just want to say how grateful I am that I attended. I have to be honest...my high school years were certainly not my happiest times. I was a chubby, insecure teenager who made tons of stupid decisions, had no self esteem, and was full of angst. I was teased fairly often and thought that certainly, I had it worse than anyone else. Of course, I know that many, maybe most of us felt that way, if not all the time, at least some of the time, but as a teenager, I was a self centered little kid who definitely didn't feel compassion so much as self pity. One thing that was so cool, though, about last night, was that any of my negative feelings from my own past insecure and awkward teenage years quickly dissipated. In their place was nothing but love and compassion and a genuine caring and interest for my classmates. There was laughter and hugs all over the place, and it truly seemed like everyone was thoroughly enjoying themselves. While I can't change my past nor do I want to minimalize the feelings that, for me, were very real at the time, even if warped a bit amongst the teenage hormones and situations of the time, what I CAN do is appreciate and cherish the present and form the memories today that remind me of the love and joy I have for my classmates.

If you want to see some of the pic, click here: PICASA PHOTO ALBUM

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Namaste....see you next year. Or before.